Tizenharmadik játékalkalom
'ITNESS MEEEE! ORK VAL'ALLA IS ALL SHINY AN' KROME! Meg persze Lictor, őrült kormányzó, buzi kalózok, egy Noise Marine és egy démon.
Ez most leginkább placeholder, mert lust vagyok megírni, de ha már Timföld megírta és túl is élte a kalandot akkor a minimum, hogy kirakom.
today I have survived a Warboss, a Lictor, a Chaos Space Marine and a pissed-off daemon gunning for me
in the same session.
I think my character now officially qualifies for the "badass" plaque
Immortan Boss and his retinue (WITNESS ME!) almost blew up my ride first by way of suicide-bombing then the Boss himself rode up to us (shiny and chrome!) to take a swipe with his power klaw (you know,
the thing that kills tanks)that proved to be a bad move when I sniper-blasted said klaw off his arm in response,
killing him.
(snipers being stupendously good at point blank range makes no goddamn sense but I'm not gonna complain)
so first off, we went to Vanir, a planet in the middle of civil war, where a so-called King of Vanir installed himself
as leader and seceded from the Imperium this proved to be a bit of a problem since it was about two months
away from being invaded by Tyranids and the Imperium wanted to put up a decent defense there.
they couldn't make planetfall though due to said secession, thus stranding our entire defense force in orbit
we could've taken the planet
but then we'd be in no shape to fight the tyranids
thus, Inquisition.
<<< You mean Officio Assasinorum. :D
we're not the Officio Assassinorum, although I'm happy to report that the assassin squad we acquired last
session has been used to great effect. but let's not get ahead of ourselves.
so we made contact under the guise of being Rogue Traders who offered to import food from a nearby
agri-world in exchange for the fruits of Vanir's industrial output they were overjoyed at the prospect, inadvertantly revealing to us that said agri-world is also full of heretics
and secessionists
(Scrutiny is useful.)
but then they scanned our ship and realized it was formerly known as Rainbow Dash, flagship of Calixis'
only warband of slaaneshite Gay Space Pirates
said pirate's brother, who was secretly behind the corruption of the king, realized we're his killers, and
couldn't control himself, initiating immediate vox contact and threatening us
*title crawl* Dark Heresy - The Revenge of the Gay Space Pirate!
they also had orbital cannons, so we flew away quickly, landing instead in a nearby Hive our forces have
managed to capture
there, we requisitioned a car and headed to the capital, meeting the Mad Max Orks along the road
(also, according to the feral worlder's crazy superstition table, the spirit of the ork warboss is going to
serve me in Valhalla, shiny and chrome)
near the Hive, we've ran into a miner caravan headed back, and we've pumped them for info
they told us that the tech-priests almost exclusively remained loyal, and when the rebellion won, they pretty
much gathered all valuable tech and locked themselves into their compound
since then, automated defense cannons shoot at everyone who comes close
they also told us that the rebellion pretty much executed the loyalist nobles, the arbitrators and the Ecclesiarchy
those who escaped with their lives were driven into the Underhive
so we split up
the tech-priest went straight for the compound, accompanied by the guardsman in case things go south
the rest of us who had Inquiry went to the Underhive and tried to gather info
this is when the Lictor attacked.
(in retrospect, we *were* told to expect vanguard organisms.)
it slashed at me from stealth and dropped me to 1 wound with the first attack
(damage die 9 + 12 Strength bonus + 2 from talent, for a grand total of 23 damage, ouch)
then the fucking thing won initiative.
it sprang into the middle of the group, to prevent us from repositioning
slashed at the scum
(who dodged)
then the GM realized that the four-attack routine of the thing requires a full action and he already
half-moved, so it stopped there.
then the scum hit it with two bursts from a bolt pistol and an autopistol, the psyker set it aflame, and
I finished it off by smacking it with my electro-flail (we wanted to take it alive, but it dropped to -8 after the hit).
<<< „but then they scanned our ship and realized it was formerly known as Rainbow Dash, flagship of
Calixis' only warband of slaaneshite Gay Space Pirates” Wait what.
<<
<<
you're not gonna believe how much willpower it took to refrain from asking "and does it always dress in style?"
(of course it does, it's a flamboyant slaaneshite ship)
it's been since renamed to The Menagerie, btw.
…so yeah, that was it for the Lictor that was meant to be a TPK
we killed it in one turn with half the party.
then I cut off its head and we headed to the nearest watering hole to ask questions
of course the Scum blew his Inquiry roll, there was a bit of a kerfluffle but he shot first.
then I tried to intimidate the rest of them into compliance, but then they made fun of my new trophy
(I also blew my Intimidate despite having +20 for the head.)
<<< Honestly that head is worth +40 imo
well they don't know what a Lictor is.
and nobody survived an encounter with it
so they can't even point to it as "that thing, it almost killed me"
<<< Well, it ripped your spleen off
I got better.
(seriously. the Scum has Medicae and the psyker can also heal as a minor power.)
so yeah
I was like "it was twice as big as any man, and three times as strong!"
then they were like "yeah right sure whatever bro"
then I was like "Ms. Salomis, care to do a representation?"
then the psyker activated Fear Aura, acquired Fear Rating 4, and the whole tavern went pretty
much insane with fear
there was weeping and shitting and shooting in panic
<<< Was the psyker with you? :p
yes.
she also has Inquiry.
(and actually a better Fel score than mine.)
(I'm Mind Cleansed, I'm not kept around because I'm pretty (even though I'm pretty much
the party face))
so yeah
after the mass panic ensued, I was like "my work here is done!" and we went to regroup
with the tech-priest (of course since only the Scum blew his roll, we've learned the hiding
place of a major group of nobles before the kerfluffle ensued.)
in the meantime, the Tech-Priest identified himself as the representative of the Lords Dragon
, who are pretty much the biggest badasses in tech-priest-land
thus they took him in and licked his ass shiny (and chrome!)
oh, right, I totally forgot to mention, but we also requisitioned grenades
back in the other hive.
the tech-priests informed us that the Butt Pirates arrived and seduced the king into heresy
they also told us that they're Slaanesh worshippers and live in the palace now.
most critically, they informed us that since 97% of them remained loyalist, the Hive doesn't
really have a competent maintenance crew, and even vital systems are ridiculously unmanned
<<< What about the 3%? :D
so they nicely provided us with the addresses of the most important figureheads of the rebellion
we passed down the list to the Deadly Viper Assassin Squad/The Kraken
(we never managed to agree on a name for our death cult)
(I'm strongly in favor of The Kraken, since that would let us shout "RELEASE THE KRAKEN"
whenever we give them a target)
„What about the 3%?” <<< to quote a classic, they're...
MEDIOCRE
so even they didn't do a very good job.
they pretty much only switched sides because they've found their advancement blocked.
anyways.
DVAS told us that they can kill most nobles and if we give them sweet gear, they can also
take out the general of their armed forces
sadly we were out of the effective deployment range of the other hive, but our tech-priest allies
were sitting on a cache of sacred tech, including plasma and stuff.
knowing that their tech crew is shit, I proposed that while the assassins clear out the targets
who are most likely to become the new leaders of the rebellion, we hit the Hive's void shield
generator and AA, then bombard the Palace into oblivion from orbit, effectively solving the
rebellion problem overnight
so, we agreed on this plan
but to make sure it succeeds, we headed back to the Underhive to make contact with the
underground resistance
we soon stumbled upon them, flashed our Rosette which wowed them completely
(they literally fell to their knees, bless their heart), and asked their assistance in our future
endeavors
namely, in having armed insurrection break out in various points of the Hive, optimized to
draw enemy forces away from the vicinity of the generator
(yes, the entire point of this stratagem was to get them killed, giving us valuable time.)
(I was like "this world is going to be eaten by Tyranids in a few months anyway, so even if the
counter-rebellion succeeds, they won't get to enjoy its fruits for long, so it doesn't really matter")
(Achievement Unlocked: Cold-Blooded Bastard!)
(a second consideration was that installing military law is going to be easier if they don't
have contenders among the local nobility, regardless of previous loyalty. As soon as they get wind of the fact that they're pretty much doomed, I doubt they'd
remain very compliant.)
so, after we set everything in motion, we jumped into a COGMOBILE (well, a tech-priest owned truck)
and headed straight towards the shield installation
meanwhile though, the Butt Pirates' psyker rolled a crit success on his "what are my enemies doing at
this moment?" divination, so we were unknowingly walking into an ambush
at first it seemed like good fun
we pretty much only noticed their presence when an assassin jumped onto our truck, slashed at our
Guardsman, and was promptly dispatched by an axe to
the face, a few well-placed shots courtesy of the Scum, and critically, a hit from my electro-flail in the
chest that resulted in the same effect Serj was experiencing last session
this caused the guy to fly off the truck.
only problem was that he had a chainsword and our guardsman wanted one since time immemorial
so we stopped the truck just for him
I mean, guy sacrificed his life for us multiple times, and you want to keep your meat shield happy,
because if your meat shield is happy, your life expectancy shoots up.
(this philosophy of mine paid off in about half an hour, actually.)
for the moment though, it seemed to spectacularly backfire, since it let the dead guy's buddy, a friggin'
NOISE MARINE take a shot at our ride, melting its wheels at once
to add insult to injury, our GM played Skrillex every time the fucker took a shot.
since those dudes also cause Fear, about half the party ran to the wind at once.
well, the Tech-Priest, the meat shie-- I mean Guardsman, and one of the NPC void shield specialists did
so the psyker and I started to sprint towards the void shield installation at once like crazy, strategically
spreading out to minimize harm from the marine's blaster since it affects targets in a 45 degree cone
then out of the blue, the Scum pulled a heroic sacrifice and stayed behind!
I was like "the fuck, bro, you'll be missed" and continued to sprint like crazy, expertly dodging another
blast from the marine (luckily, I might add, since those things also do 1d10+lots of damage with a penetration of NINE, effectively nullifying my shiny new storm
trooper carapace armor)
but suddenly, Gay Space Pirate the Senior stepped in front of me and shot me in the chest from a Carnodon,
which is like the small cousin of a sniper rifle (hand cannon with Accurate, only difference is that it has about
tenth the range, no penetration, and does 1 less damage, which is less relevant than you
think, since it can also go up to 3d10 in damage dice)
but he screwed up since he only hit with 3 DoS and rolled a grand total of 5 on his two damage dice, so
I came out of it unscathed
Scum was going all-out, shooting from all barrels right at the Noise Marine, achieving 2 hits from his bolt pistol
and 2 from the hotshot las (note: I killed a veteran guardsman in one burst from the latter WITHOUT A CRIT,
and the bolt pistol is even more brutal)
much rolling ensues, turns out he managed to take out about a ninth of the Marine's total wounds (to be fair,
he did dodge one of the bolt pistol hits, but it still strongly put us in the "screwed" territory)
Tech-Priest and Guardsman are still running and screaming
ding dong next turn, me and the psyker are still running and feel strongly tempted to scream.
Gay Space Pirate the Senior gently reminds the marine to chase US instead of the Scum, and heads
to face his brother's killer (EMOTIONS! DRAMA!, I hear David Cage shout in my head. Until this point,
I didn't even realize I have a David Cage head voice.)
Noise Marine does as he's told, and sprints after us, almost catching up to our three-turn progress in one move
anyways, seeing the vengeful shade approach him (firing off another shot with the mini-sniper and missing), the
Scum decides this is getting too much for him and starts running
since the Noise Marine is now out of sight, the Tech-Priest and the Guardsman slowly regain their wits.
and stop running. or, in the Tech-Priest's case, gently jogging, since he has about 20 Agility after being cybernetically
resurrected, and his maximum move is around 12 meters per turn.
next turn, Noise Marine charges, and, by some miracle, narrowly misses.
I continue running, the psyker continues running, we're now standing in front of the shield installation and see that its
door is locked.
meanwhile, the hulking monstrosity of armor and twisted flesh is closing in on us.
I call the assassins and ask where the fuck they are.
they cheerfully respond they're currently carrying out my orders, which fills me with some confidence. I order them
to get their ass down here this instant
since that MIGHT give us a chance for survival if they focus fire and roll really well.
(did I mention how brutal snipers are in this game? oh, who am I kidding, I certainly did. still, it bears repeating.)
they pinky-swear they'll be here in two rounds.
In the meantime, the Scum realizes he shouldn't run because, well, sniper.
for a moment, he hesitates. I mean, he could turn and face his nemesis like a man.
but then he realizes he's still, fundamentally, a Scum. So he tosses a tear gas grenade behind his back and runs.
IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE
GSPS (for the uninitiated, it's short for Gay Space Pirate the Senior) chokes and his eyes fill with tears. he fails his
Toughness test and gains a level of Fatigue
he still wades through the muck heroically
the now-sane Tech-Priest, meanwhile, goes into Overwatch, meaning he gets to fire a burst from his bolter at the
guy as soon as he gets out of the mist.
the barbarian just readies his axe.
ding dong next turn, Noise Marine charges and misses again.
at this point I scream like a little girl, since he already got me in his initial attack and it dropped me to 1 wound,
pull the pin on a krak grenade I requisitioned earlier, and run like hell.
fun fact: krak grenades are really good against armored targets. even if said armor is space marine armor.
so it blows up another sizeable fraction of the guy's wounds.
this, of course, prompts him to backhand me like a little bitch since I ran without disengaging.
It hits for 1d10+10 because he's really fucking strong. On the other hand, it's a primitive weapon, so I get to
double my armor against it, reducing the final damage to 3. It drops me into crit, but it's alright since I have
the True Grit talent and it lets me halve incoming crit damage. So I'm comfortably sitting at -1
and pray for a miracle to occur, or, at the very least, for my assassins to arrive already.
(it also gifted me with 1 level of Fatigue, meaning a -10 modifier on every subsequent checks I make in the scene.
yay me!)
On the other hand, the Psyker was a bit more martially-minded than I am, so instead of 1 krak, 1 smoke,
1 tear gas, she requisitioned 3 krak grenades.
She chucked the whole package at the feet of the hulking monstrosity, and followed my example.
Lots of RF ensued (6d10+12 damage!), and the marine finally dropped into crit. We almost sighed in relief,
then the GM grinned and told us I'm not the only guy with True Grit.
(To be fair, Space Marines get it as a default, so I really should've foreseen that.)
Anyways, instead of being blown to smithereens, the guy first fell on his face (crit -1), then gained 1d5
Fatigue and got Stunned for 1 turn (-4 crit). Whew, it means our assassins may arrive fast enough to matter.
we cut back to the charred remains of the truck!
GSPS starts his turn in the middle of the choking fog, blows his Toughness check again, but this time,
he gets 5 levels of fatigue, so he immediately drops unconscious.
Sensing we're in grave danger, the Guardsman and the Scum rush to our aid, while the Tech-Priest
who's at this point beyond such human necessities as breathing, wades right into the gas cloud, and
starts to take the butt pirate into custody.
So, big guy's Stunned, other guy's in custody, assassins arrive right in this turn. Things are looking up.
Psyker heals me for 1d5, proceeds to roll 1. I'm back at 0, which is a bit more fragile than I'm comfortable
with, but still an improvement.
With her remaining half action, she gets inside the facility, since the door just had 4 krak grenades detonated
right in front of it, so it's not exactly in any shape to prevent her from doing so.
I go ahead and try to finish the dude. Since I was busy running so far, and lack Quick Draw, I merely get a flimsy
+50 bonus on my check (half range +10, stunned +30, size hulking +10 - which I normally wouldn't get because
of his black carapace that lets him move deceptively fast, but hey, he's not moving now) instead of the +70 I'd
gain if I could aim.
Of course, since he's prone and I'm fatigued, I also get -20 in total. Still, that brings me to 71, should be enough.
I roll 84.
I reroll using my last Fate point (I blew 3 earlier when I tried to prevent the Warboss from tearing our ride apart.
I ultimately proved successful, so it was well spent, but still.)
It's 89.
Dude's still alive, Guardsman's sprinting towards us, but he's still about 2 turns' distance away.
Scum unloads into him, but range and prone penalties and a few unlucky rolls mean he doesn't achieve much.
Tech-Priest finishes wrapping up our little present.
Assassins finally arrive, meaning they turn up on the other end of the room within the building and have zero
vision to the guy.
Ding dong next turn, stun wore off, Noise Marine fires another blast at me. Predictably, I fail to dodge, with
Arbitrators being traditionally shit at Agility and the whole Fatigue thing.
GM rolls low, and I still have True Grit, meaning I drop to -5 instead of going splat like people usually do when
they're hit from weapons like this.
Still, it's an Energy critical, so I catch fire. Moreover, another 1d5 Fatigue ensures I also drop unconscious,
extinguishing all hope of, well, extinguishing myself.
"SOMEBODY PUT THAT FIRE OUT", I channel my inner Colonel Pres-whoever (edit: actually, it’s Joker).
The Guardsman volunteers, sprinting towards me, but it's another turn before he arrives, and actually extinguishing
me will take further +1.
meanwhile, the Scum fires off another burst, finally managing to get in enough damage to put the damn thing at -8,
at which point its organs are pulverized, it suffers from blood loss, and it's unconscious, but still alive.
(I detect some parallells here.)
we're all happy since the immediate danger has passed. aside from the whole "burning" bit, which might still kill me.
I dutifully roll my 1d10 for damage, but it's only 4, which is barely within the limit of what I can soak naturally.
(Damage from being ignited ignores armor.)
Guardsman continues to crawl towards me in what feels like slo-mo.
Finally he arrives though.
Another roll, because he can't yet attempt to extinguish, having his entire action be consumed by running.
2! I survive!
The GM announces the Guardsman actually needs to roll Agility for extinguishing. Thankfully it's at +30 since
I'm not making his job any harder by screaming and flailing. Advantages of being unconscious I suppose.
Thankfully he actually manages to make the roll. In the meantime, the Scum also walks up to us, and we start
discussing medical attention while theGuardsman gently straps me on his back. (We did the same for him last
time! D'aww.)
At this point there is a terrible otherworldly scream and a daemon we narrowly managed to banish in our first
session breaks out from the building about 80 meters down from us.
...Recognizing me as being instrumental in her banishment, it immediately charges for me, even though the
Tech-Priest from the same group is standing about 10 meters from her.
To be fair, he's been rebuilt a few times since then, and must be hardly recognizable.
Note: it's not a minor daemon. It's the "you crap your pants in fear then it mindfucks you so you can't act
even if you did somehow manage to keep calm in its presence" kind of daemon.
Thankfully, being half-machine, the Tech-Priest is immune to her mindfuck power, and manages to save
against the fear.
So the thing eats a bolter burst. Undeterred by fleeting, worldly concerns like self-preservation, it continues
on its merry way to my unconscious body. At this point, I get the feeling somebody is not okay with me having
4 Fate points.
At the same time, I also remember that we have assassins in the building and the mindfuck power requires
awareness of a character's presence in order to use.
So under my expert leadership (read: I told my fellow players to roll for them), they fire off a volley of sniper
shots, taking the thing down to half health.
Of course, next turn it can affect them as well, making our job considerably harder.
The fight continues on in this manner until it's within 1 turn's move, with somebody out of six always managing
to save against her power long enough fire off an attack. Then, just before it's about to charge, it eats a leg
shot at crit -2, halving its movement for the turn.
Of course, failed rolls vs. her mindfuck also mean 1d5 insanity, so by the end of the encounter, the psyker
gained 12, the guardsman 14, and the really really lucky scum 3. Being unconscious, my mind remained
blessedly inviolate.
In the turn we gained by halving its move, it also eats a body and an arm crit, stunning it (spent Fate to
recover) and taking off an entire arm.
Anyways, finally it gets into melee range. The GM's eyes light up. "Executing helpless targets
automatically succeeds!", he utters with glee. I gently remind him that I'm strapped on the Guardsman's
back who is empathically *not* helpless.
The thing misses.
At this point, the Scum fires into the ensuing melee.
Miraculously, he manages to hit the daemon both times.
It's pretty much helpless at this point. Guardsman finishes her off, we pull off the rest of the plan without
a hitch. Returning to consciousness, I hold a heart-moving speech about the corrupt king who let daemons
whisper into his ears, took up weapons against our Holy Emperor, denied the existence of the
Tyranid threat, and received his just punishment by the Heavens' will.
The planet is ours.
…damn, that was a long session summary.