- Ay ay ay ay, ay ay amor!
- Celebros!
- For the Emperor!
pjű pjű! VRRRUUUUMMMMMM!
- Alegrete en este corriente sangre!
szporcs!
whoooosh!
- AAAAAARGGHHH!!!!
- NNOOOOOOOOOOO!
- MY EYES! EMPEROR HAVE MERCY!
[2 of 3 guardsmen fail their Fear test after the strong breeze uplifts the poncho of the enemy psyker revealing non-euclidian genitalia]
- Mira mi poder obscura!
SZPLORCS!
VRRUUUUMMMM! Puff! Vrrrrkksdkskskksummmmm!
- Huff, huff!
- What is it, peasant?
- [unintelligible shouting] Horror Tractor! [more unintelligible shouting] PSYCHO TRACTOR!
- Ok, ok, whatever!
- [over vox] Hey guys! If you have nothing to do you can come help us. The orks are getting more and more annoying.
- Ok, ok, whatever!
- So, Orks or trcator?
- Lets’s kick some tractor ass!
- Can we burn down the fields?
- Not yet!
- Can we burn down the fields?
- Not yet!
- Can we burn down the fields?
- Emperor damnit, yes!
FWOOOOSH!
[A wild Psychotraktor appears!]
pjű pjű!
BUMMM! FWOOOSH! BUMMM!
- AAARRRRGGGGHHH!
BUMM! BUMMM!
- Retreat, retreat!
BBUUUUUMMMM!
[Psychotraktor explodes when the fire reaches its fuel tank]
- Ok, now let’s see those Orks!
- I iz da most bigga!
- No, I iz bigga!
- Oy, wots dat?
- WAAAAAAAGGGHH!
pjű pjű! VRRRUUUMMMMMM! BANG!
- AAARRGGGHHH!
[Priest dies]
Pjű! VRRUUMMM! VRRUUUUMM!
- Oy, wat you do dat for?!
PjŰ! BANG! VRUUMMMM!
[Sergeant dies horrbly]
VVRUUMM!!
-Oy, get utta my way!
BBUUUMMMMM!
[Ork guuner Nob’s gun explodes]
VVRRUUMMMM!
[Medic dies even more horribly]
- Men, some guys from the other town said, they are coming to help, but we haven’t heard from them in a few hours! Check it out!
- Sir, yes, sir!
- By the Emperor!
- Hey, I found a lascannon!
- Let’s call the HQ
- [over vox] AAARRRGGGHHHH!
- [over vox] For the glory of Keynes! The sacrifice must be complete!
- [heretical chanting] Keynes! [more heretical chanting] GDP!
PJŰŰ! Pjű Pjű!
- Driver! Ram that group of heretics!
- Yes, Commissar Sir!
BANG!
[a wild Demon Prince appears!]
- MWUHAHAHAHAHA! YOU CAN’T STOP ME!
- For the EMPEROR! FIRE!
pjű! pjű! PJŰŰŰ!
- MY ASCENSION IS FINALLY COMPLETE! YOUR TIME TO DIE HAS COME, MORTALS!
- AARRRGGHHH!
- RETREAT!
- STAND TALL! FOR THE EMPEROR!
puff!
- CHARGE!
- Finally, the Sentinel is ours!
- GUESS, WHO’S BACK!
- SH[EXPLETIVE REDACTED]T!
pjű! BUMM! PJŰŰ! FWWOOOOSH! PJŰŰ!
[Demon Prince falls to the ground burning]
BUMM!
[Strom Trooper inserts Krak grenade into the anus of Demon Prince]
PJŰŰ!
[Commissar accidentally shoots Storm Trooper with Lascannon, Storm Trooper miraculously survives, but is incapacitated]
PJŰŰŰ! FWOOOSH!
[Demon Prince’s eyes pop like superheated eggs and is dead]
++++
Confirmed kills:
1 Mariachi Chaos Psyker
16 Mexizombies Sorcerous Pawns
1 Psychotraktor
3 Heretics
1 Demon Prince of Keynes
Casualties:
Sergeant
Medic
Priest
Survivors:
Storm Trooper
Weapon Specialist
Commissar
Remained in reserve:
Heavy Weapons Guy
MISSION SUCCESSFUL!
Thought for the day:
Nothing Can Hide From The Wrath Of The Emperor.